Thursday, April 22

Quick Update

I am fully aware that I've been slacking on the updates.  Things around here are crazy busy as usual. 

This morning is my pre-op appointment for surgery tomorrow.  I'll be doing some blood work and getting details on the procedure.  I'm anxious, but I also know that I'm in God's hands and He already knows the outcome.

Surgery is scheduled for 10:00 tomorrow morning, April 23rd.  Hopefully it will be a quick in and out surgery with no complications.  Prayers are definitely apprecaited.  As soon as I'm up and functioning I'll be sure to get an update to you all. 

God is good.... All the time.

Wednesday, April 7

Holding God's Hand...

Yesterday was a much anticipated doctors appointment for me.  Back in 2005 I had my right ovary removed.  It was a routine surgery to remove what they thought was a cyst.  After opening me up they realized that it was not a cyst at all but a tumor, and it had completely taken over my ovary.  We were so thankful to learn that it was benign and that everything would get better. 

Here we are five years down the road and I still have terrible pain every once in a while.  I've been in and out of doctors offices, on medicines, off medicines... I have recently started to feel like a guinea pig.  A test subject.  Well, we just don't know what's wrong with you so let's try this out.  It's always, let's give it some time, come back in a few months if it's still bad.  Well I've finally had enough.

I met with the surgeon who preformed my surgery to talk yesterday.  They ran some tests, did an ultrasound and he gave me two choices.  The first choice was to take the passive route; wait another three months or so, if the pain and other issues continue, come back and we'll do a laproscopic surgery.  Or take the aggressive route and do the surgery now.  Tired, defeated and absolutely at the end of my rope, we scheduled the procedure. 

One possible diagnosis that keeps getting thrown around is endometriosis.  A word that I absolutely despise.  A word that makes me cringe.  A word that sends worries and anxieties shooting through my brain.  This surgery is the only way that endometriosis is diagnosed.  Sure I have all of the symptoms but it's not easily diagnosed... the only way is to open me up and take a looksy.  If they happen to find this while they're in there they will burn what they can find.  There is no cure for endometriosis.  It is something that I would have to live with my entire life.  It is manageable, but the one word that comes up that breaks my heart every time is infertility.  I've known several women with this who have had children, so I am hopeful.  But I am also human.  I worry, I get anxious. 

Another option is that I have scar tissue from my surgery 5 years ago that has attached somewhere in my abdomen and is causing issues.  THIS is what we're hoping for.  If they go in and find this they'll burn it, stitch me up, and we'll all move on with our lives.  Lord willing.

If they find nothing.... they stitch me up and we look at other possible options.  This surgery will give me peace of mind.  Answers.  No matter what, when I wake up I will have an answer.  Even if it is, "sorry we couldn't find anything."

The procedure is scheduled for April 23rd.  It will be quick and hopefully minimally invasive.  I'm not writing about this to get sympathy.  That is not what I want at all.  I'm writing about this because it's on my mind.  Its weighing heavy on my heart and this is where I go when I need to vent.  Prayers, of course, are always appreciated.  I'm taking a deep breath right now, not thinking too far ahead, and taking a firm grip on God's hand, clinging tight to the knowledge that He already knows the outcome.  He already knows if there are children in our future and He has already started to prepare my heart for the journey.  I am holding on tight knowing that He is walking beside me.  Not letting go. 

Bridals by the lovely and talented Hillary Anne

I posted a while back about going on my bridal photo shoot with Hillary.  Well when we were visiting the other weekend she dropped the CD with my images in my bag!  I'm thrilled with how they turned out.  She never, ever ceases to impress me.  PLEASE, if you're looking for a photographer consider Hillary as a great option!  Thanks again, Hil, you're incredible.

Why can't we play a time out in real life?

So... It's been a while since I've blogged here.  Some of you may think I'm slacking.  Rest assured that I am not!  Life is just a whirlwind of events, parties, lunches, dinners, games, sleeping.... Today I'm calling a time out to make some time to write.  I may have a growing to do list at work, laundry piling up in the closet and a pup that could use a good walk... but I need this for me.

Here's a quick recap of what we've been up to lately.

A couple of weekends ago we headed out to McKinney to spend some time with our friends Brian and Hillary.  They made an incredible meal of chicken and beef fajitas and we enjoyed some delicious frozen margaritas made by yours truly.  We stayed up all night playing games and decided to spend the night to get as much time with them as possible.  It was the first time Josh and I had spent the night at a friends house together.  It was pretty cool.  I couldn't help but to pass a giggle when we said goodnight.  Maybe someday I'll get used to this whole marriage thing.  The following morning they took us to breakfast at the Original Pancake House... I had the best egg white omelet I've ever tasted.  We had a blast spending time with them and just wish we could do it more often.  Here are a few pictures from our time together.

Brian and Elle during game time
Playing some Settlers... Brian won the first game and I won the second!
Then we played a game of Guestures... Where Hillary and I kicked some major butt. 

Let's see.... So what else is new?  Hmm... Well I got my hair done, needed to get ready for spring so I threw in some beautiful highlights complements of the beautiful and talented Cherie Wiggins.  
Josh and I attended a pre season game for the Rangers thanks to Derek who was kind enough to give us his tickets.  The seats were awesome and the weather was absolutely perfect.  We made a date night out of it and ate at BJ's (one of my favorite restaurants). To top it all off the Rangers won their game, too!

Josh has been keeping busy with flag football on Sundays and softball games every Tuesday and Wednesday nights. 

Easter weekend was great.  My mom invited everyone over to their house to celebrate with games and great food.  She asked me to bring a few things for dinner so I decided to make my grandmother's homemade rolls and my great aunt Carolyn's sweet potato casserole.  Lucky for me they both turned out beautifully!  Sunday morning after church we headed over to my parent's house.  My aunt, uncle, two baby cousins, Tony, Mel, Athena, Mom, Dad, Gary, James and his fiance Amanda were all over for dinner.  It was a packed house but we had a great time hovering around the busy kitchen and chatting the evening away.  I'm always overwhelmed on Easter- its a beautiful time to embrace the love of Christ and to remember the great sacrifice he made to save us all.  I am so thankful that He is Risen!!!  I slacked on picture taking but managed to capture a few...

Teaching Claire and Victor how to play Settlers
Sweet Little Ryan and his adorable little hat
Mom making some yummy food
Finally a picture of my brother and me!
The day before Easter my dad got all of us kiddos together for a family photo shoot at the sculpture by the museum.  It's become a tradition and this would be the first time our entire family would be together, including husbands and wives (and little unborn peanut babies).  It was so much fun getting to shoot pictures with my family!!  You can find more images on my dad's photography website here.

Other than that.... not too much has been going on here. :)  Just living our lives the best way we know how.  I was fortunate enough to meet my girlfriends for dinner last night, a much needed night out with girls I love so very much.  Josh will be away this coming weekend spending time with his friends at Lee's bachelor party.  He is SO excited... I'll miss him like crazy, but I know he'll be having the time of his life. 

I'll be making more posts today.  Gotta chop it up a little bit.  Thanks for keeping up!!