Well, the day has finally come and it's time for me to put my big girl pants on and take a step away from Facebook. As apprehensive as I feel, God is reassuring me that this is the right thing to do for now. My hopes are that it will free up some time for soul searching, writing, playing guitar and spending time with the ones I love.
Callie is now 8 months old. It's so incredibly difficult to grasp how quickly she is growing. At 7 months she started crawling, and now is already trying to stand up and use her feet to move! I keep telling her to slow it down because Mommy is NOT ready to have a toddler yet. Here are a few pictures from our little photo session. She truly is the light of our lives!
Yesterday was my 27th birthday. To be quite honest, I wasn't really
looking forward to it in the weeks and days leading up to it. The past
two months have been pretty difficult for me emotionally. I've become
very withdrawn and haven't felt like myself at all. On Thursday I was
able to take a half day of work to go into the doctor where I was
diagnosed with postpartum depression. I've struggled with depression in
the past but this is so different from what I've experienced before.
The weight of motherhood, being a wife, daughter, friend, employee....
It's all just become so heavy on my shoulders which makes the symptoms
that much worse. I'm thankful for doctors, for my friends, for my
family. I'm thankful that I am able to talk about it. My family
history is less than stellar in this department and the ability to
express my feelings is something that is only possible because of my
Savior. I know that He is the ultimate healer and if it is in His will,
this will only be temporary.
I walked into my house yesterday after work with my hands full of
groceries thinking about the to-do list that was in front of me before
company arrived. My eyes went directly to the fireplace where I saw two
gifts sitting, I smiled to myself thinking,
not only did my incredible husband take the time this morning to clean the house, but he also set out gifts for me! As
I walked toward the kitchen my attention was drawn to the beautiful
decorations all over the house. A laugh actually escaped from my mouth
as feelings of relief and love rushed through my body. Then, from out
of nowhere I see something big moving behind me! I turn my head and see
Josh Rollins, one of my dear friend's husbands, standing there with a
camera in his hand. Before I could say anything, my friends popped out
of the kitchen yelling, "SURPRISE!" They had all come in early to
decorate the house for my birthday and spend a little extra time with me
and Callie. I was completely taken off guard and so overwhelmed with
happiness.
The night progressed and more friends and
family arrived for food and incredible conversation. At one point
during the evening I stepped back and was completely in awe of how
blessed I am. Seeing so many people you love and admire in one room is
an overwhelming feeling that is just not describable. We all hung out
well into the night, and I woke this morning with a smile on my face and
peace in my heart. Thank you to each and every one of you who wished
me a happy birthday, your love and friendships mean the world to me and I
am so very thankful!
Here's to a wonderful new chapter in my life... I look forward to seeing what is in store.
