October 2012- Callie 5 Months old
Callie was without a doubt the highlight of 2012 for both of us. She is now 7 (almost 8) months old and blossoming right before our eyes. Our little bundle of energy is crawling, sitting up and even saying "Dada!" She is so very determined and sweet. No matter what she is doing, if she catches your smile or gaze she will stop, lock eyes with you, cock her head to the side and give you the cutest grin you've ever seen. This girl loves the camera and is a natural in front of it. She has brought Josh and I closer together and given my heart a reason to rejoice and celebrate after a very difficult year and a half without my daddy. I can just imagine the look on his face seeing her for the very first time. He would have a slight smile with those big brown eyes filling up with tears, arms outstretched reaching for his little girl that he'd waited so long to see. I know that if he were here, no one one have a chance to hold or play with Callie... He would hog her completely and I would let him. :0)
Another part of looking back over the past year is discovering some things about myself and my life that I'd like to change. Somewhere between the physical and mental demands of being a teacher, the 24/7 job of being a devoted mother and wife and attempting to squeeze in time for family and friends I lost a little bit of me. I have not made the time to do things that I love, I have not touched my guitar in months or picked up a paint brush to create an image from my mind, I haven't let my fingers dance across the keyboard on my computer to pour out my heart and soul on this blog in months and, in general, I have lost a lot of my joy. So how do I fix this?
I am pretty positive that part of what I've been going through is postpartum, but that is a whole other blog post... Somehow I have to figure out what changes need to be made in order for me to live a life of joy and fulfillment. Along the journey through my thoughts I discovered that a lot of my time is devoted to habitually checking Facebook. Sometimes I'm not even aware that I am flipping through my news feed on my phone until ten minutes have passed. With the many positives that Facebook has; keeping in touch with loved ones, seeing what friends are up to, sharing photos and videos with those you love... It also has its negatives. I have lost friends through Facebook because of status updates/ comments made, I have grown tired of the constant ads and am now being forced to see what everyone "likes" in my feed. Our generation has become "Like" hungry and in doing so spends more time on the computer trying to get complete strangers to "like" their photo of a little child with a life threatening disease instead of going out and doing something about it. Getting a million likes will not save that child's life! All of this being said, I have grown tired of Facebook.
For a while now, Josh and I have been discussing what to do about this problem. I miss the good ol' days when Facebook was all about sharing your life with your friends and family and keeping in touch. It has now become a bombardment of ads and an unwelcome infiltration of pictures, statuses and stories from people I don't even know. Facebook has also become an enabler for me. It has enabled me to stop being personal, to hide behind a computer at an attempt to maintain friendships and life-long bonds with real people. There is a car commercial out there that says something along the lines of, tonight you can stay in and "like" something, or you can go out and live it... That shook me. When did I stop writing letters? When did I stop calling my family and friends to wish them a happy birthday? And more importantly, WHY did I ever stop? The truth hit me square in the face... Because I am lazy.
Facebook is perfect for people who want to be lazy in life. I am not saying that everyone on it is lazy... far from it actually, I am saying that it was that for me. I stopped feeling the need to call my friends and family thinking, oh they know what I'm doing because they see it on facebook. They don't need pictures in the mail or a hand written letter, they can see it all on facebook. I'd run into friends I hadn't seen in a while and there would be nothing to catch up on because they already knew everything. I miss sharing. I miss the intimacy of a good glass of wine and a friend to talk to. I miss being personal. So this year I am doing something I never thought I'd do. I am saying goodbye to Facebook.
Josh and I discovered that the only real use we have for it now is for pictures. For those of you who know me, you know my love for photography and capturing life's moments. I have somehow accumulated 13,989 uploaded pictures and a whopping 262 albums. I have been on Facebook since November 14, 2004. That is over 8 years! This is going to be a big change for me.
I still want to share my life with you, pictures and life events, don't get me wrong. My desire is to do it in a more personal way. Being able to quickly post a status or upload some photos without talking about it was very convenient... My goal is to make an effort to do things in a way that is fulfilling to my heart and soul. This blog is an incredible outlet for me. An online journal if you will. My mood is brightened and my heart lighter after I write. So, updates will be posted here (make sure to subscribe if you haven't already). Just as much for myself as it is for friends and family. For those of you who do want to see the millions of mundane pictures I take of life, friends, family, food, and sweet little Callie on a daily basis, you are more than welcome to follow me on Instagram. If you don't know what Instagram is, it's pretty much twitter with photos.
I am hopeful that making this shift will help me on the journey to rediscovering my joy. A lot of thought and prayer have gone into this decision and I feel at peace with it. It makes me uncomfortable, and that is how I know that it is right.
I'd love to hear what your goals are for this new year, call me or post them below! I am saying goodbye to lazy and convenient... here's to a more personal, intimate, fulfilling year! Welcome, 2013!!
Info for staying in touch:
- If you want my number to stay in touch and don't have it just send me a message!
- You can follow me on instagram by searching for "NickiLynne15"
- This website URL is Morgans2Day.blogspot.com. You should be able to subscribe on this page in the upper right corner. I think the only thing you'll need is your email address and you'll get an update every time something is posted. :)
Way to go, Nicki! Good for you. I admire your courage.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Meredith. I feel incredibly uncomfortable about this decision, but again, it's somehow the thing that tells me it is the right one. We need to set a date to get together and catch up! That baby of yours is just growing so quickly!
ReplyDeleteI am subscribed! I would love your number, but I would really love your address - let's do some letter writing!
ReplyDeleteI found your blog on pinterest and am totally glad I came across this! I have been struggling with the same issues over Facebook, it has turned into something I check constantly and usually ruins my day when I see so many pointless posts about how someone just ate a sandwich, or how someone just needs to "vent" and curse and swear over something that doesn't need to be shared. I finally hit LOTS of unsubscribe buttons but still notice my joys in life getting cut short, I tell myself Im keeping my facebook just to stay in touch with family so they know whats going on, but you are so right about everything you said about that being the lazy way to keep in contact and its so impersonal. I am just a week shy of my due date with our first baby girl and I know family would probably be bummed to see me delete my facebook but instagram and my blog are good enough right?? There are too many social medias! I hope I can have the same courage you had over this, sounds so pathetic that facebook is such a big deal that you have to have courage to delete it... but when it consumes the majority of your life you have to take a step back and think about whats really important! Thank you again for your encouraging post!
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