Callie's Arrival - Chapter 2

The snuggle session was short lived as the nurses took her to the side to get her cleaned and measured.  Callie was 35.6 weeks the day she was born, just over a week shy of being considered “term.”  She was very quiet and from what I could see was just laying there as they hovered around her running tests. There are so many possible risks with having a premature baby and I was all too aware of each one. Josh and our moms were busy snapping pictures and gawking over how cute she was but I felt uneasy.  They weighed her at 5 lbs 7.9 oz and 19 inches long and then handed her to us for a moment to hold.  It was very short lived... The nurse quickly stepped in and said that she needed to take Callie to the nursery to run some tests because she was “grunting.”  

The next hour was filled with family and friends congratulating us and lots of tears of joy being shed.  They moved me into a recovery room and the waiting game began.  Each minute that passed by without Callie’s return was longer and more overwhelming than the one before it.  At one point Josh called down to the nursery to check on her.  The nurse answered the phone and said that they’d call us back.  Callie was the only baby in the nursery and had been gone for two hours now... The aching in my stomach bubbled over.  Around 8:45 the pediatrician walked in the room with a concerned look on her face.  She continued to tell us that Callie was showing signs of respiratory distress and that she felt her needs could be better met at a more equipped hospital.  A huge lump built up in my chest and I lost the ability to speak.  All I could do was lay there and cry silent tears.  My precious baby was being taken away from me.  

Josh and I were able to go into the nursery to see her before the transport team arrived.  Nothing could have prepared us for the sight of our baby girl lying helplessly on the table.  She was hooked up to monitors with tubes and wires all over her body and a vent hood over her tiny head.  Those little arms were lying lifelessly next to her body and with every breath a tiny whimper would escape her lips.  Second to the sound of my mom’s scream the night my dad died this was the worst moment of my entire life.  

Around 11:30 they wheeled her into our room to say goodbye and whisked her away to Cook Children’s Hospital leaving Josh and I by ourselves in a cold, dark and very empty hospital room.  Despite being utterly exhausted and the aid of ambien, sleep did not find me that night.  

Callie's Arrival - Chapter 1

Over the next few posts I wanted to write about one of the most incredible experiences of my entire life... The birth of our little girl, Callie Marie.  I hope that you enjoy the journey as much as we have.  My posts tend to get a tad bit lengthy so I'm breaking it up a bit for you.  Thank you for your constant prayers and support!  

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      This past week has been the most incredible whirlwind of my life.  Miss Callie Marie Morgan was born on May 14, 2012 at 6:15 pm weighing in at a whopping 5lbs 8oz and 19 inches long.  Here is the story of her very unexpected birth and the eventful week that followed.  :)

Monday morning started like any other, I woke up and got myself dressed and ready for school.  Most days I hit my alarm and snooze for another 10 minutes or so but that morning, for some reason, I was up at the first buzz.  As I was driving to school I had this overwhelming feeling that things were a little too calm so I made my morning phone call to Josh a little early and said, “Babe, I don’t know why but I have a feeling that this morning is the calm before the storm.”  I couldn’t explain to him what I was feeling, just that something was eerily different.  He told me he loved me, to have a wonderful morning and that was that.  

Around 9:00 I was in the middle of teaching a math lesson.  As I was reading a question my vision went hazy and I lost all sense of where I was.  My knees collapsed and I fell straight to my tush right in front of 19 fourth graders.  I looked a little like one of those toys that completely collapses with the push of a button.  When my vision returned the kids were all standing up, one of my boys said, “Mrs. Morgan, why are you purple?”  With that I sent him to grab the nurse.  She came in and took my blood pressure - 138/86 - which for me is actually quite high.  I called my doctor and let one of the students take over running the review.  Upon hearing what had happened they asked me to have Josh pick me up from work and bring me in to check on the baby.  

Josh showed up in no time at all and whisked me away to the doctor.  I have to thank my school for being so quick to help - I am very blessed to have such wonderful co-workers!  I started feeling really sick on our way there, light headed, hot, and completely out of it.  I even stumbled into another car as we made the walk from the parking lot.  Once in the doctor’s office I explained to him what was going on and told him that I simply didn’t feel right.  He began to check me for what seemed like an eternity and then looked down at his watch and back at us...  With that he said, “How does May 14th sound?  You’re 5 cm dilated.”  Josh and my eyes met and completely bugged out of our heads.  We went straight to labor and delivery and were admitted within 30 minutes.  

{The picture we uploaded to Facebook saying, "Guess who's having a baby!"}

I sent out a few texts to close family and friends that read, “Looks like I’m having a baby!”  Within the hour Josh and I had three of my best friends, both moms and my stand in dad (Gary) all crammed in a tiny room that was simply buzzing with anticipation.  When they hooked me up to the monitors my contractions were 5 minutes apart (which if you have been following my pregnancy you know is not uncommon).  There happened to be a high number of mommies in labor that morning so we waited quite a while before they moved us to a delivery room.  We were admitted around 11:30 Monday morning and by 4:30 that afternoon they had me in the delivery room.  My doctor came in and broke my water to get things progressing a little faster (which holy cow.... I did not realize so much fluid could fit inside of one’s body).   Before I received my epidural they gave me some pain medication to help with the pain of contractions which made me INCREDIBLY sick.  There’s nothing like having a room full of friends and family and laying in a bed puking your guts out! 

The epidural wasn’t quite as bad as I thought it would be.  Yes, it was painful but the thought of relief was enough to keep me going.  I laid my head against the nurses chest and prayed over and over, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength...”  The only way I can think to describe the feeling is that my legs felt like heavy stumps of flesh completely wrapped in plastic.  My right leg was the first to lose sensation shortly followed by the left.  Unfortunately the epidural didn’t make my nausea go away which meant the bouts of barfing continued.  Within one hour I had gone from 5cm to 10cm dilated and ready to push.  

I had a slight panic attack right as I hit 8-10 cm and remember looking frantically at Josh saying, "she’s coming out!!!"  I turned to him and touched his chest saying, “I’m tagging you in now, you know like in wrestling... your turn.”  This made the entire room of loved ones laugh and eased a little bit of my anxiety, but I was dead serious.  The reality that I was about to shove a human being out from between my legs was just a little overwhelming.  

My doctor finally arrived and everyone was kicked out except for Josh and our moms.  It’s amazing how many people are needed to deliver ONE child.  There were three nurses, a doctor, my mom, Josh’s mom and the two of us.  Ya lose all sense of modesty when all you want is to get the pressure to go away.  Within minutes I was holding onto the back of my legs pushing with all I had.  Three contractions and ten pushes later (yes, I know - high five, Nicki!) our little girl was taking her first breath.  

{Josh's first time to hold a baby ... And it was his daughter.  Needless to say I was balling my eyes out.}

I wish I could explain the feeling that overcame my soul at that very moment.  Josh and I gazed through tearful eyes at the miracle God had given us... our little girl was absolutely perfect.  Josh cut her umbilical cord and the doctor placed her slimy little body on my chest.  I remember not being able to catch my breath because I was so overcome with emotions I had never in my life experienced.  The moment she cried my heart stopped and our world was forever changed.

She's Not Done Cooking Yet!

Well yesterday turned out to be quite the eventful day.  I met Josh and one of his coworkers for lunch at Pop's Burgers.  While we were eating I was experiencing more contractions than normal (which is between 18-25 a day for me).  I dropped them back off at work and as I made my way through traffic heading home my back started to ache pretty bad.  I called my doctor and after a brief conversation they told me to head to labor and delivery.  I turned around and grabbed Josh from work, he quietly and quickly drove me to the hospital where we eventually made our way to labor and delivery.

We got all comfy cozy in our room and hooked my belly up to the monitors.  It was really incredible to hear Callie's heartbeat and know that she was doing just fine.  After sitting there for a few minutes I felt a contraction coming on, I closed my eyes and started to breathe when the nurse saw it jump up on the screen.  It was the weirdest thing to actually see what I had been physically feeling for weeks.  They called my doctor and watched my contractions for quite some time.  After about an hour or so the nurse came back in and decided to take an fFN test.  She said after watching my contractions and how strong/close together they were she wanted to make sure I wasn't going into preterm labor.  This test basically looks for a certain protein that can tell them if you'll go into labor within the next two weeks.  A little while later she came in with some medicine for my back pain and a shot to stop contractions.  The medicine kicked in immediately and the strong contractions stopped (thank the Lord!).  A little while later she came in with wonderful news, the fFN test was negative!

After getting home and relaxing for a bit I only had a couple small contractions.  I'll be going back in next week to see my doctor to talk about getting on medication to keep me from having so many contractions.  We will be 28 weeks on Sunday, which means Callie is definitely not done cooking yet.  The nurse told us that she is looking like a 32 week old with how active she is which made me smile.  This little peanut is always moving, kicking and jabbing me.  I'll be sure to keep you all posted with any updates, thank you so much for all of your prayers and well wishes!

Daddy's Girl

The closer it gets to June the more emotions I begin to uncover.  This pregnancy has taken my emotions and thrown them into a blender.  I am overjoyed to be having our little girl, to have been given the privilege  to become a mother.  The excitement Josh and I feel daily about our fast approaching future has been helpful in that it helps me to focus on happier things, but with that comes the reality that those happier things become a mask blocking me from dealing with some truly painful emotions.

I was watching some show on TLC about labor and delivery and it followed families that were having multiples.  At one point in the show a mother was being wheeled into the C-Section room talking about how her dad hadn't made it to the hospital yet, right before she made it to the room he showed up and gave her a big hug... I had tears streaming down my face.  It's a reality that I've chosen to ignore for the past 7 months.

My dad won't be there the day my daughter comes into this world.

It's heart crushing.  There have been so many moments throughout this pregnancy where I've wanted to talk to him.  I've wanted to grab his hand and place it on my belly as Callie kicks up a storm, I've wanted to cry on his shoulder when I wasn't feeling well and know that he'd give me comfort and a smile...  I know that nothing I say or do will change reality.  My dad is in heaven where he doesn't feel pain, sadness, anxiety or hurt.  But today I am feeling a little sad for not only myself but also for sweet Callie.  She will never get to know her grandpa, she'll never know what it feels like to be held in his warm, gentle hands or hear his infectious laugh.  My dad was made to be a grandfather and it is so painful to know that he robbed himself of all of these blessings that were ahead of him.

Today isn't unlike any other, I miss my dad... But today the reality is harder to mask.

Pinterest Has Taken Over

This week is my first spring break with no work since 2004!  I am really enjoying it so far.  Even though I brought plenty of work home with me I have been doing my best to relax and tackle some fun projects.

Today I started and finished a pillow cover for Callie's nursery.  The colors in her room are a soft Heather grey and baby pinks, so when I saw this pillow on Pinterest I had to repin it and give it a whirl.  I didn't quite get the desired look I was going for, but overall I'm quite pleased with myself!  Sewing is not something I've done much of, everything I know was taught to me by watching my mom or trial and error. :)

I think I'm addicted to sewing and baby projects though... We may need to have an intervention soon.

Third Trimester!

Wow!  I'm not quite sure how we got to this point, things have really started flying by!  We are finally in our third trimester.

Things have been pretty busy around here lately.  School has been keeping me very tied down.  As the STAAR test approaches things at work continue to get more and more stressful.  I absolutely love teaching and my kids are a gift from God.  Though they are constantly challenging me I truly do love each and every one of them.  Josh's company recently took on a new customer which doubled their workload so he has been working longer hours as well.  When we are at home we tend to relax in front of the TV and I feel so old admitting this but, we try to be in bed every night by 8:00...  Yeah, it's sad.  But I'm telling y'all, pregnancy drains ya!

There have been a lot of really fun things going on in our lives outside of work.  Birthday parties, weekend getaways and even the birth of our new nephew, Andrew Evan Koch.  Here are a few pictures from some of the things that have been keeping us so busy.

Josh and me at my first hockey game ever!

 Watching Athena play basketball

 More painting in the nursery 

 Andrew's baby shower

 Camping in Glenwood with Matt and Jami

Andrew's Birth!  March 7, 2012

Painting with a twist for Jami's birthday 

Today we went in for my one hour glucose test and our 27 week check up.  Unfortunately, despite the amount of studying I did to prepare (hehe) I failed the test.  So now I will be going back up on Wednesday to take the THREE HOUR glucose test.  Let me tell you, I am not looking forward to being in a doctors office for three stinking hours.  Let's just hope I pass this time. :)  We were also able to have our first 3D sonogram today thanks to my mom!  We spent the better part of an hour staring at our little girl on the sonogram screen.  It was incredible the detail that thing picks up! Here are some of the pictures from our session. Thanks mom!!

Here are some bump update pictures... I really fell behind in blogging!  

{Weeks 20 & 21}

{Week 22 & 23}

{Week 24 & 25}

{Week 26 & 27}

how far along? 27 Weeks
how are you measuring? Callie is measuring right on track, 27 weeks.
size of baby? 13.6 to 14.8 inches and just over 2lbs

heartbeat? 138 bpm
total weight gain/loss? 15 lbs <--- EESH!
stretch marks? Nope!
sleep? Sleeping pretty well but I'm starting to have more back pain at night which definitely keeps me up.
best moment this week? Getting to see our sweet little girl today and enjoying my first spring break since 2004!
movement? Holy cow yes.  This baby moves constantly.  Sometimes I swear she is trying to bust out "Alien" style. 
food cravings? Still wanting carbs and sweets.
what i'm looking forward to: Enjoying the rest of my spring break and hopefully passing my three hour glucose test on Wednesday. 
how are you feeling? I'm feeling pretty good these days.  After our last appointment I had lost weight so the doctor gave me some medication to help keep me from feeling so nauseous and it has helped a ton.  I also started taking medicine for reflux because it was getting so out of control.  Around 21 weeks I started having my first braxton hix contractions.  Since then they have gotten much more frequent and intense.  I'm currently averaging between 18-25 (ish) contractions a day.  This past Saturday I lost my mucus plug and the doctor has suggested that I stay off my feet as much as possible, which means no exercise and keeping my butt planted (which I've recently realized I am not good at what-so-ever).  All of this has been a little stressful as 27 weeks is definitely too early for our sweet girl to make an appearance.  Right now we are just praying for these contractions to lessen so we can keep her cooking just a bit longer. :)

As always, thank you for keeping up!  Sorry it took me so long to get an update out, crazy how life just keeps on passing right on by...  

19 Weeks

What a week!!!  So many changes took place over the past week.  Monday was a holiday for school so I enjoyed the day off at home relaxing. Tuesday was a teacher work day which was MUCH needed and Wednesday was the day we'd been waiting for all of these weeks.

Wednesday, my 26th birthday, we went in for our 19 week anatomy sonogram and after some hopping up and down and jiggling of my belly, Baby M cooperated and we got to see what we were having.  The sonographer sat staring at the screen for what seemed like ten minutes then finally pointed and said these six little words that changed my world forever... "You see those three little dots?"  I knew exactly what that meant, we were having a little baby GIRL!!!!  Now, I would've been very happy regardless of the outcome, but that girly side of me deep down was secretly hoping for a girl.  The instant she said those words tears were streaming down my face.

{Callie Marie}

We had to keep a secret for the next two days in order to keep the big news a surprise for our gender reveal / my birthday party. :)  We had friends and family over for dessert and had fun teasing everyone with our little secret.  Guests got to sign their guess on a scrapbook page for Callie's baby book and then pick a mustache or lips to use in pictures!  When everyone had finally arrived we handed gifts to our parents.  They opened them together and a big pink balloon popped out!  The reactions were priceless...

{BOY GUESSERS}

{GIRL GUESSERS}

{Everyone}

{The big reveal!}

how far along? 19 weeks
how are you measuring? She's measuring right on schedule
size of baby? Around 6 inches - the size of a mango 
heartbeat? 137 bpm
total weight gain/loss? 8 lbs
stretch marks? Not yet, hoping never!
sleep? Can't seem to get enough.
best moment this week? Finding out that we're having a baby girl.  I felt her kick on the outside for the first time AND Josh felt her kick for the first time.  What a week!
movement? Yes
food cravings? CARBS
what i'm looking forward to: Continuing to decorate her nursery.
how are you feeling? Feeling pretty good this week.  VERY exhausted even after full nights of rest.  She is sitting very low so I'm having a lot of pelvic pain but she is SO worth it. :)