Summer Lovin'

Ahh Summer.  The time of year every teacher relishes.  I am no different.  Flash back to the end of this last school year and I was a complete zombie;  no energy, no desire to do anything but plop myself on the couch with a big-o-glass of wine. I was running on fumes and had nothing left in reserves.

My last week of school was pure insanity.  Not only was I having to completely pack up my classroom to prepare for leaving my school of 5 years for a brand new school in the Fall, but that Monday we got the phone call that Josh's grandmother had passed away.  I had previously scheduled a trip to Colorado for that Friday to visit my childhood best friend who just had a baby and the funeral ended up being on that very day.  God always has plans we know nothing about, and they don't always go hand in hand with our plans.  So that Thursday, after a rushed morning packing my classroom into the bed of the truck, I said my goodbyes to my classroom and coworkers, plopped our family in the truck and headed to East Texas. 

First day in my Kinder classroom vs. last day in my classroom... Lots of changes!

 

 

We made it just in time for the viewing and enjoyed the evening with family we hadn't seen in years.  The next day was a tough one.  Saying goodbyes to family members is never easy.  Singing at their funeral is just plain impossible.  It is an honor to be asked, and I will always say yes, but I can never make it through the song without shedding a tear.  This was the fourth funeral I have sung at and it just doesn't get easier.  

 

When you're 4 and bored... you plank.  (at the viewing)

 

That evening we packed the family back up and headed home so I could get a full night's sleep before flying out the next morning.  My weekend trip to Colorado was nothing short of incredible.  I saw God's hand everywhere I looked and in every single situation.  Conversations with complete strangers, my best friend, and new friends made were all centered around Christ... I came home feeling refreshed, renewed and encouraged.  I love the friendships God holds onto - you know, the ones where you don't see each other for years and then instantly pick right back up where you left off.  That's the kind of relationship I have with Ashley.  Meeting her daughter, Olivia, was pure bliss.  A little bundle of perfection, just like her momma.  I am thanking God for  our friendship and for His hand being ALL over that weekend away.  

 

Mani Pedi with Ashley!

 

Red Rocks with my girls!

 

I ended my trip with an incredible visit with one of my other "Dads" whom I've known all my life. How I will cherish this time we spent together!

 

Since returning from Colorado I've been THOROUGHLY enjoying being a mommy and indulging in some pure laziness.  I've earned it! We've spent time swimming, crafting, lounging and exploring the city around us.  Just being with my sweet babies everyday has been a blessing in itself.  The afternoon cat naps are definitely a perk, though.  

We don't have HUGE plans for this Summer as we are preparing to sell our home and begin building a new one!  More on that later, though...  Here are some of my favorite pictures from the past two weeks.  I cannot wait to see what the next few have in store as we hunker down and really get into Summer mode!  

Lunches at Daddy's office

Play dates in the park

Callie's first pet, Swimma.

Ice cream dates (Melt Ice Cream)

Swim parties with friends

Lazy jammie days with the kids

Father's day!

Movies with the family - Kellan's first movie - Finding Dori

Lunch dates with Daddy

Stay tuned for more summer fun and a new update to my Birthday Chalkboard DIY!

 

Kellan's Choo-Choo Two Party

Last month our precious baby boy turned TWO!!

 

Sweet Kellan,  

When I think about the past two years with you the only word that comes to mind is blessed.  God has something wonderful in store for your future;  He must, because prayer after prayer has been answered in our lives with you!  

 

You are a mamma's boy through and through; always wanting me to hold you, cuddle you, or at the very least, hold your hand as you walk beside me.  You are loving, and so very sweet.  

 

You are Callie's shadow and absolutely adore her.  If she's not in the room with you, you'll shout, "Cal-CAL!!!"  And she will come running.  

 

You're absolutely petrified of loud sounds (airplanes, thunder, or any other random loud noise), and we believe it's from hypersensitivity after your hearing was restored (you can read more about that amazing miracle HERE). 

 

You LOVE meat, but your most favorite is ground turkey and ground beef.  You don't want to eat anything unless Mommy and Daddy are eating it too, and are notorious for stealing our food from under our noses.  

 

You adore any kind of music.  You're always dancing and singing along to whatever music is playing, even if you have to make up your own words, "Moooommmmy, Da-Da, Cal-Cal!!!!"  Your favorite songs are "Star" (Twinkle Twinkle Little Star) and "Sunshine" (You are my Sunshine), and you sing along with us every night at bed time.  You're our champion sleeper, too.  Thank you, Lord for that!!

Your favorite toys are anything Callie is playing with (seriously) and cars, trains and dinosaurs!  Because of your love of trains, we decided to surprise you and have a train birthday party! You rode the train for the entire hour, only getting off to entice your friends and family to come ride with you saying, "COME-OOOON!!" We love you so much, Kellan, and continue to pray for the man that you'll grow to be.  May you always be a gentleman, loving, patient and kind... Just like your daddy! 

The Waves of Change

Busy is blessed.  It's something I continue to tell myself as I walk through this new chapter in my life.  Josh and I will plop ourselves down on the couch after an epic bed time battle with Callie, and with utter defeat in our voices say, "What on earth did we do before we had kids?"  Truth of the matter is, we had a lot more time on our hands and I honestly cannot for the life of me remember what we did to fill it all up.  What I do know is that we cherish these days, even the ones that are battles.

Obviously things have been busy around the Morgan household. It's been months since I've sat down to write.  A dear friend of mine, who recently made a reappearance in my life, said to me the other day, "Is there anything you can't do?"  He was referring to the many talents that God has gifted to me. I do not begin to claim them as my own, because I know that they are strictly for the betterment of His kingdom.  I pray that I can continue to use them as such.   Of course, the reality of the situation is that there are thousands of things I cannot do.  Mostly because of time.  

If you know me at all you know where a lot of my time goes. If the activity has any creativity involved in it - I'm there.  Painting, drawing, sewing, crochet, singing, and a new found love of hand lettering just to name a few.  Between being a wife, a mom, a teacher, a worship leader, a crafter, a distributor for It Works, a friend and a daughter, there is not much time left for anything else.  I am beginning to feel like my life is a Ritz cracker with the peanut butter so thinly spread on top that you can't taste it.  That being said, I have to remind myself frequently to be present in the moment.  It is easy to get caught up on what is next or an ever growing to do list.  So easy in fact, that the little moments get overlooked and my fear is that before I know it, I'll be packing Callie up for college.  The thought alone brings tears to my eyes. 

This year, I believe, is going to be the year of change.  Already there have been some drastic changes that have taken place in our lives and I know that there are many more to come.  Callie will be starting pre kindergarten in the fall, and we will be placing our home on the market soon with plans to build a home more suited to our larger family.  There are so many things coming up that are different from how they've been, and that is scary to me.  It's so easy to succumb to fear and let it hold you back because of the uncertainty that comes with the unknown.  Recently in my devotions, I have been seeking God's will for the direction of our lives.  In all things I want to follow Christ.  If he is leading me in a direction that scares me, I want to follow Him with abandon.  I sing about it, I journal about it, I pray about it.  The tricky part is, discerning God's voice amid all of the clamor of life.  Sometimes I think we get so caught up in seeking God's will for us that we miss his gentle whispers.  

My prayer right now is that the multitude of responsibilities, talents and hobbies will not distract me from being still and quiet and waiting on the Lord.  I feel as if I have hit a fork in the road and I genuinely do not know which way to walk.  Neither path is straight; they are both dark and winding...  So how do I figure out which way is God's way?  Decisions, especially when they involve your spiritual walk, are so very important and not to be taken lightly.  I stumbled upon this quote and it really hit the nail on the head; "Sometimes in the waves of change, we find our true direction."   I pray that as we are in the midst of changes this year, we will seek God in every decision so that we can find our true direction in life. 

Music speaks directly to my soul.  It is how I am able to connect to feelings and emotions best.  This song has been playing on repeat in my head for a week now and I can't get the lyrics out of my brain.  Maybe there is a reason for that... Lord, I will go where you will lead me.

 

"You have called me higher, you have called me deeper, 

and I'll go where you will lead me, Lord."

 

Not "Just Another Wrap Girl"

I took a deep breath, prayed and then pressed enter... My very first It Works post was official.  As I introduced my decision to join a Network Marketing company to the Facebook world, a million thoughts were buzzing through my head.  Will I lose friends?  Will people block me?  Am I going to fail?  What if this doesn't work for me?  

I was afraid.  Fear is a very real thing in this business, and it was no different for me.  I know what most of you were thinking when you saw that post, "Ughh... Here's another sales girl to block up my news feed with a bunch of crud!"  Yeah - I know.  I know because I used to be her.  I was that girl who was afraid to post any status with a health goal, a status about being tired or run down, a status about wishing I could stay home with my babies, all because I knew exactly what would happen next; my inbox would be FLOODED with messages from friends trying to sell me something to fix the thing I was venting about.  

I know what you're thinking - so what changed?  Well, I kept feeling as if my cry to the Lord for guidance in my life was not being heard and definitely not being answered.  As much as I love teaching, it's been a struggle to be away from my children and my constant prayer was that God would open up a door for me to someday be able to stay at home with them.  My income is necessary for us to live the life we do so I'd need to find something that would make up for the monetary loss.  I prayed and prayed and nothing... Then one night, out of the blue, an old high school friend that I hadn't spoken to in 10 years sent me a message.  She said she was thinking about me and how I'd be a great addition to her team. That she was having a call that night and she'd love for me to be on it.  Instantly I had negative thoughts.  Needless to say, I didn't join that call.  The next morning I woke up and it was weighing heavy on my heart.  It was if God had pushed that message to the forefront of my mind and wouldn't let it fade.  Then it occurred to me, what if this was door God was trying to open?

I messaged her back that afternoon and apologized for not responding to her.  We began to talk about It Works and she told me her story.  I gave her every excuse; I'm not a sales person, I don't think network marketing is for me, I am afraid of the commitment....  She was gentle and kind with me, but she asked me one question; why is it that you're even a little interested in what It Works can offer?  Then it hit me, I want to be with my babies.  This could be the thing that helps me do that.  That night, I prayed diligently.  Josh and I discussed the option and to my surprise, he was supportive.  The next day, Mandy and I talked again and I made the decision to join.  

Fast forward a few months...  My mindset has shifted.  I am no longer in this industry to stay at home with my kids.  As much as that would be a tremendous blessing, I know that God has more in store for me than that.  Proverbs 16:3 continued to weigh on my heart, "Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed."  God spoke in my heart very clearly - this company and the products it offers can and will change lives.  I saw countless friends and teammates blessed and changed by what God was doing in them and it pushed me to shift my thinking.  

My goal for 2016 is to know, follow and share Christ.  It is easy to get caught up in the money.  But just like every other earthly thing, it is meaningless.  What does matter, are relationships.  God was bringing people back into my life for a reason.   I have been greatly blessed not by the money, but by the relationships that have resulted out of this business.  My team is made up of men and women of all different ages and faiths.  I have deeply enjoyed growing in my faith through community with them and love being challenged daily by such Godly women on my team.  In other words, God opened a door for me - just not the one I was searching for.  And I am so thankful for that!

For those of you who don't know what It Works is, we are a health and wellness company with four different categories; body, skin, lifestyle and greens.  It Works is most known for the Ultimate Body Applicator - also known as "that crazy wrap thing."  It tightens, tones and firms skin from the neck down in as little as 45 minutes and provides a wonderful, safe and natural alternative to extreme cosmetic procedures.  The thing I love most is that we are SO much more than a wrap company with over 35 incredible products that actually WORK.  We were even named in the top 15 of direct sales companies in North America!  

(Learn more about our products here... www.nickimorgan.itworks.com)

I write all of this to say... I am not just another wrap girl.  Yes, I post about products and share things that work for me and for others on my team.  I post silly selfies and hashtag more than I should... But I do it with good intentions.  My heart's desire is to grow closer to Christ and to share Him with others and this company has given me the opportunity to do that in a big way.  If you're one of those people, just like I was (guilty as charged), my prayer is that your heart will be softened to what it is that I am really trying to share.  I wouldn't back products that I didn't believe in.  I wouldn't invite you to join my team if I truly didn't believe that this opportunity would bless you immensely.  Joining was a huge leap of faith, and I am so deeply happy that I jumped.   

If you have any questions about our products or anything else I probably rambled on about for far too long in this post, please send me an email.  I will respond!  Talk to me, ask questions!  It would be an absolute pleasure to talk to you. 

Know, Follow, Share in 2016

This is one of my favorite times of the year.  We've just finished celebrating the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ and all around us people are in good spirits.  Everyone is in a giving mood, willing to help others and live life with a servant's heart. We all take time to reflect on the past year and make goals for a new one.  It truly is a beautiful time!

 

 

 

Every year I try to sit down and think, what would I have done differently if I could do this year over again?  This is typically how I come up with my New Year's resolutions.  This year, as I sit down to write (which I haven't done well at ALL this year... hello busy #momlife) I am asking myself a different question.  How can I be more like Christ? 

Sure, I have goals!  Who doesn't?  I'd love to spend more time with my family and less time working.  Take more time to blog and build relationships with those I love.  It would be HUGE to take my It Works business to the next level and promote to Diamond... But overall, there is a goal that is bigger than all of those things.  A goal to know, follow and share Jesus Christ.  

Looking back on 2015 I am filled with joy.  We spent the entire year as a family of 4 growing and learning from one another.  I made a leap of faith and joined a health and wellness company to help supplement my income as well as help others in their lifestyle and fitness journeys.  We vacationed, made lasting memories and I grew closer to Christ.  It is so humbling to look back and see all of the ways the Lord blessed us this year.  Kellan's hearing was restored to him right after his first birthday and we give all the glory to God for that miracle!  Both of our children are healthy and strong, flourishing and learning new things each day.  Josh was blessed to keep his job in the oil and gas industry despite the rough times and lay offs that were occurring.  Little things add up and the big picture becomes clear.  We are so loved and God is faithful in his promises.  

 

 

 

As we walk into this new year, full of opportunities and possibilities, I would challenge you to ask yourself the same questions.  How can I know Christ more, follow His word and share Jesus with others?  Tomorrow is not a given - this is something I've come to know all too well over the years.  When you are standing before God and facing the only judgement that will ever matter - will you KNOW him?  Will you gaze upon his face with a smile and a pure heart knowing that his arms will open wide to welcome you into eternity, or will you stand petrified of what comes next?  If you have questions about what it looks like to know, follow and share Jesus please ask!  His joy compares to nothing else in this world, and I want nothing more than for you to know it, too. 

I pray you all have a very blessed, very Happy New Year! 

Running a Mental Marathon

Anxiety.

This is a word I have grown to know all too well in my adult life. At 19 I was diagnosed with GAD, general anxiety disorder. I used to suffer debilitating anxiety-turned-panic-attacks that would land me in the hospital receiving a large dose of a magical injection in the rear. It has been years since an episode of panic has wrecked havoc in my life and I give full credit to God for that.

Over the past couple of months this demon monster has begun creeping its way back into my life and body. I'll startle awake in the middle of the night and find myself unable to turn off my mind and release the unbearable tension in my body. I will pray, read scriptures, sing worship songs in my head, envision a protective angel sitting over me blinding my thoughts and anxieties into oblivion... You name it, I've tried it.

When this new school year started I was energized and filled with a renewed passion and love for teaching. The first day of school was a frenzied blur but I left the building smiling and returned with a genuine smile the next day.  That is when things started to shift. Knock after repeated knock on my door brought floods of new students into my classroom bringing the numbers over the state limit of 22 and taking my sanity with it. By Friday I had to take a minute to lock myself in the faculty bathroom to just let the tears flow. The instant the door shut my face was covered in tears, my breath had been stolen from me and my heart was beating out of my chest. Panic. Utter helplessness took over.

Pray Nicki. My mind just barely able to form the thought, but more likely God whispering through the cloud of darkness, I was able to stop and pray and through God's provision, make it through the rest of the day. 

Monday rolled around and I showed up to work restored and ready to take on the 25 five year olds that awaited me with love and compassion. Through constant deep breaths, positive self talk and more prayers than I can count, the school day concluded and I was making my way back home.

On the drive home a sense of unease and overall ickiness began to take over. By the time I walked in the front door I felt as if I had the flu. Barely making it to the bathroom I began to lose the content of my stomach and instantly realized that I hadn't had a sip of water the entire day. After getting some fluids in me, everything came back up, only something wasn't right. It looked like coffee grounds and tasted like copper.  6 hours and a trip to the emergency room later, we discovered that I had thrown up blood and I was referred to a specialist with a general diagnosis of bleeding ulcers and gastritis.

You'd think all of that would warrant a doctor to see you speedy quick, but you'd be wrong.  I still have two weeks before I can be seen... Medicine and time off to rest and recover have helped the stomach pains to ease but it will be some time before we know what is actually going on.

Through all of this I've been battling GI issues along with eczema on my hand, elbow and eyelids. Yeah, my eyelids (what in the world?!) All stress/anxiety related. And I know what you're thinking, because, duh!

Stop stressing Nick! Give it to God. Don't you trust Him? Don't you read the bible? He COMMANDS you not to worry! Gosh, just LET IT GOOOOOO! (Insert song lyrics that won't leave my head... You know you do it too).

Well, gee, if it were only that easy. The chemical make up of my body vs the knowledge and desire I have to give it all to God battle it out every second of every day the monster is with me.

I struggle with feeling like a fake - I'm a Christian but I struggle with anxiety. I feel like a failure. Sometimes I just stop feeling. It's a battle you'll never understand unless you've lived it.

My dad struggled with very similar things and it robbed him of his life. I refuse to be a victim, but I am also wise enough and cautious enough to know when I need help.

It is 4:55 am, my alarm is set to go off in 25 minutes and I've been up since 1:15. I keep picturing my fatigued brain, exhausting itself on a treadmill running at a pace that it just can't handle with no way to turn the dial down. It sees God's embrace and open arms just beyond the bars but is hopelessly trapped in the marathon that doesn't end.

I know this is temporary and that God is stronger, bigger and mightier than this monster called anxiety. He will be triumphant and I will be shouting of His mercy and goodness even as I wait for His victory over it.

Friends, I don't tell you all of this to gain pity or sympathy. We all have mountains in front of us, don't we? I share this with you in hopes that it would shed some light on who I am. Demons and all. Anxiety is a very real thing that can lead to very real pain and suffering. I am a Christ follower, a believer, and I still suffer from it. It doesn't make me a fake, it doesn't make me ashamed. It's my reality, but I am thankful that it is not forever. I am thankful that my God is bigger.

I want thank you all for your prayers and love as I continue to walk through this journey. I am immeasurably blessed by each word that is lifted up to God on my behalf.  If you know someone who suffers from anxiety, just give them a quick hug and tell them you love them. If you suffer the same, I love you deeply and want you to rest in knowing that you're not alone and you are so precious to God. He will be triumphant over this. And through it all, it is well!