When we first received Kellan's diagnosis my heart stopped. After 3 failed hearing tests the audiologist sat me down and explained to me that he had substantial unilateral hearing loss; or hearing loss in only one ear. My mind was on fast forward to potential learning delays, trouble in school, sports, life... Our little boy was going to have a rough road ahead of him and all I wanted to do was make it disappear.
Josh and I sat, talked and decided, if our son was going to have a disability, this was the pick of the litter. He still had perfect hearing on one side, he can see us, he can think, he can walk.... There were so many CAN's that this one can't suddenly didn't seem so big. Immediately we began to pray for our sweet little boy. We prayed for understanding, we prayed for knowledge and wisdom. We prayed for his future and for our role as parents as he began this new journey. We prayed for healing.
The next step of our journey was to have an ABR test done. We headed into Cook Children's for the test, prepared for whatever God had in store for us. Or so we thought.
After a very early start, we found ourselves waiting for the anesthesiologist in a holding room with a sleepy, hungry boy. "Alright Mom, it's time." I had been coached on what to do next, but it didn't prepare my heart. I placed Kellan on a large bed, surrounded by total strangers. They had me wrap his blanket around his arms and body and "hug" him tightly. A mask was placed on his face that dampened his cries to a hushed whisper. It was eerie to see his face screaming/crying and scarcely be able to hear it. After what seemed like an eternity (but surely was only mere seconds), his eyes went vacant and his body stilled. The doctor instructed me to kiss his forehead and then leave... His body looked lifeless and I found myself breathless as I made my way into Josh's arms in the other room, tears streaming down my cheeks. I knew he was asleep, safe, ok. But the sight of him under shook me to my core.
We decided to grab some breakfast and coffee while we waited... A trip to the cafeteria we know all too well from our days in the NICU with both kids. There is a strange comfort we find there.
After a rushed meal we found ourselves back in the waiting room. I pulled out my Bible and as I began to read, the audiologist walked out. "Mr. and Mrs. Morgan?" - That's us... Breathe, Nicki.
She began to go over the test results by asking us why it is we were there. I explained that he had been diagnosed with substantial unilateral hearing loss and we were there to explore how great the loss was to decide what path we needed to take next. She then showed us his charts and said, "That's what I thought.... Well, I knew he had been diagnosed, but his hearing in both ears is perfect." My eyes flooded with tears and again, I found myself unable to breathe.
Confused, we asked her to elaborate. She continued to explain that she knew the audiologist that had diagnosed Kellan and she's very respected in their field. She referred to his sudden, unexplained "perfect" hearing as an "anomaly." Though a choked voice I managed to whisper, "No, it's a miracle."
In Matthew 21:22 it says, "And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.”
Friends and family, I am so unsure of why God chose our family to bless with this miracle. But I do not question Him. We feel so undeserving and humbled. He knew exactly what He was doing all along. Kellan doesn't know how special he is, how blessed and loved. We are incredibly thankful for all of the prayers that have been said lifting our son up. The God that healed the blind and lame, and raised the dead to life, is STILL performing miracles today! We give ALL the glory, ALL the honor and ALL of our praise to Him and Him alone.
I would encourage you today with this final thought; There are times in our lives when we are fearful to pray for miracles because we are unsure that they will be heard or answered. I am guilty of asking God to answer prayers that I ask Him in a timid, questioning voice. Asking with FAITH means praying with the peace that no matter the outcome, God will be beside you, holding you, guiding you. Regardless of the results of Kellan's hearing test, we were prepared to walk together in faith. I am ecstatic that the path we get to walk is one of gratefulness and humility. Please join with us in praising God for this answered prayer....
2 comments:
Wow! Indeed, you are blessed. God is great. :) Thank you for sharing your story!
That's wonderful news!!! So thankful we have an amazing, loving, all powerful God!!
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