Friday evening was spent with my family at Mom's house, we finally got together and watched the last two episodes of Dexter. It was a show that Dad got us all into and we watched it as a family (minus Athena, just too young for that kind of show) every Sunday night. After Dad died we still had two episodes left and it was just too difficult to watch, but we finally sat down and got to enjoy the end of the season.
Saturday was my mother in law's birthday, so we took her out to lunch with the family to Uncle Julios. The food was wonderful and she seemed to really have a good time. Later that night I got all dressed up to go into Dallas to "work." I've been doing promotional modeling for the past 5 years or so now and sometimes I get asked to do really awesome events. This was one of them. I was asked to dress up, as if I were going out with the girls, and show up at the DirectTV VIP Super Bowl Party in Dallas. All I had to do was hang out with attendees and enjoy the night and I got paid to do it!!! Samantha Ronson was the guest DJ and Usher came and performed. It was a really great night and I had a ton of fun, it definitely didn't feel like work. :) Here's some pics of me and a couple other of the girls. Three of them were sisters, and they were all so sweet.
Sunday was our Friends' Sunday at church and Bob Lilly, a former Super Bowl winning Cowboy, came to Travis to speak. Before church I had the chance to be close to him, I didn't walk up and shake his hand, I couldn't muster up the strength. Not because I was star struck, but because all I could think was, Daddy would have LOVED to meet him. Later that night we headed over to our friend's Michael and Kim's house for the Super Bowl. The girls had one room and the guys were in another. The food was incredible and the company was even better. This is the first super bowl that I've watched the entire way through. It was a blast.
Tonight is my first night of group counseling. I've been having a little bit of a difficult time processing everything that has happened in the past month and a half. Losing Dad has completely rocked my world in the worst possible way and I am struggling to keep my head up daily. God is so good, and I do lean on him but probably not as much as I aught to be. Someone suggested to me this place where young adults of like ages get together and talk about the experience of losing a loved one. Each person in the group is between the ages of 19-27 and has recently lost a loved one. There will be 8 weeks of sessions, every Tuesday night. It is supposed to help me process his death, deal with things that are going on, and to relate to others who have been in similar situations. I have to admit that I'm a little anxious. I'm not looking forward to breaking down in front of a bunch of strangers, but I know that this is a safe place and that I won't be the only one there who cries. Our assignment for tonight, being the first night, is to bring a picture of the loved one that we have lost. It's been really hard for me to pick a picture of Daddy to bring. There are so many good ones and they all make me cry. I just know holding that photo up tonight in front of these people will break me down- but maybe that's what I need right now. Who knows. :)
I am still blessed everyday by some amazing friends and my wonderful family. I cannot complain because I have a roof over my head, food to eat, and people to love. But I do miss my dad every minute. People keep telling me that wont change, that I'll just learn how to deal with it. Not sure how that will happen or when it will come, but until then I'll keep missing him and trying to grow from the experience.
Thanks so much for keeping up with us and what's going on in my small life. Your words of encouragement, emails and messages have really been uplifting and its encouraging to see so many people come together to show their love and support. We love you all and continue to ask for your prayers. :)
3 comments:
Nicki,
I had some major flashbacks reading your post about your dad. It's sort of a good thing that I can read what you are going through as a daughter losing your Dad. Maybe it can help me relate to the girls. Group counseling helped me the most. We all cried together and it was really cathartic for me hearing of others who lost a loved one...my group was suicide survivor group. As I look back on the past year, I can see that I have made progress. Please know that I am here if you need to talk to someone who can definitely relate to what you are experiencing
It looks like you really had a good time this weekend. I envy you being there in the middle of all the fun!! Was that Ann Burrell in one photo with you guys? I am a major foodie, so, I know who she is. She seems like she would be a lot of fun.
Take care sweetie. God is walking this path with you.
Debbie Morse
Thanks, Debbie. I can't imagine what the past year has been like for y'all. Thank you for your encouragement and for being here for me. It means SO much. A lot of this is really difficult for me to write about, but in the end I feel like it helps more than it is hard.
Yes, that was Anne Burrell, haha! I spotted her out at the party and told her that we needed to have a picture together. She was really nice and loved being a part of the picture. Thanks again for your love and support. :)
Nicki
praying for you, friend
i went to counseling for a while after the death of a close friend and though it was scary it was definitely helpful :)
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