Thursday, September 9

Courage

My entire life, since I can remember, I have been singing.  I was 5 years old on stage with our church preK choir in my pretty dress covered in frills. I sang at the top of my lungs, hands clenching the bottom of my dress as I danced along to the music.  I recall my parents telling me later in life that they were on the edge of their seats worried that my dress would suddenly fly up and I would give the entire congregation a show. 

I continued with choirs in Jr High and High school and attended church events where I sang with our ensemble and performed pieces on my own and with friends at Main Event.  Moving to Texas everything changed.  I was the new girl.  I showed up to the acapella choir as this fresh face my Junior year and could feel the cold stares from everyone in the room.  God on my side, I quickly made friends and was able to excel right away in competitions.  I went on to become an All State Choir member both my Jr and Senior years. 

After high school, however, things were different.  Music ended on a bad note for me after graduation and I kind of gave up for a while.  I had been told I wasn't good enough over and over and over... Finally I started to believe it.  So I stopped singing for people.  It wasn't until the end of last year that I gained the courage to approach the idea of singing at our church at the time, Trinity Chapel.  Mark and the rest of the band took me in right away and made me feel so welcome as I started to lead worship on Sundays.  I was finally finding my roots again and the Lord was showing me that I was good enough for Him. 

Early this year, after much prayer, we decided to change churches.  I was overcome with anxiety that I was going to lose what had taken me years to get back and instantly took those fears to the Lord.  Not two days later a friend of mine, Ashley (who just so happens to be the daughter of our new church's pastor) was encouraging me to pursue singing with the Gathering Band at Travis.  She took it upon herself to speak with the music minister and after just one week I found myself in front of his piano singing for him.  I've been a part of the Gathering Band at Travis Avenue ever since and feel so humbled and blessed to have been called to glorify the Lord with the talents He has given me. 

HOWEVER!  To cut to the chase... which I'm totally not doing because I just wrote four long paragraphs... I have still been afraid to show people MY heart for singing.  I've been playing the guitar now for a few months and trying to learn songs that move me, it wasn't until this week that God gave me the courage to start sharing myself with those around me.  I am nowhere near perfect, I have so, so much to learn... But I am tired of throwing excuses out there.  A dear friend of mine reminded me all the time how wonderfully made I am.  That combined with the knowledge that everything I do is to give glory and honor to my God.... I've decided to start sharing. 

If you're interested in listening you can check it out on my youtube page.  This is scary for me.  Very.  But ya know what?  It's not about me. Hopefully someone can be introduced to our Heavenly Father through my music and that would make it all worth it!  Thanks for listening to my rambling.  I am now finished. :)

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