So I'm walking this journey... this thing called life. It has ups, it has downs and millions of moments in between. My walk with the Lord has never been as strong as it is now. I feel as if He walks beside me every day and in every situation.
One morning this week I woke up from a terrible dream. A dream that seemed so real that it shook me. It stirred feelings and emotions in me that I thought I had moved past, as I made my way to my office computer to email my dad I found myself in tears, overwhelmed with sadness and frustration. I kept asking myself, why is it so hard for me to just give this to God? How many times to I have to give it to Him before He will take it from me? Why can't I just let go?
I prayed that morning, really prayed. I talked with a friend who reminded me of God's intentions and remembered that we walk through some sticky stuff in life and we do it so that we can cling to Christ and grow closer to Him.
This past week I was inspired to start drawing again. I'm not an artist. I would never classify myself as such. I have always called myself a "doodler." I've treated this drawing pad as an emotional journal. Drawing expresses feelings and emotions that I cannot seem to wrap words around. It's been an incredible release.
After my dream the other morning I grabbed my "emotional journal" and sketched how I was feeling. After praying and talking with loved ones a new picture came to mind and that too was placed on paper. It's difficult for me to find the strength to share these images with the world... they are personal, intimate and very genuinely raw. But I want you to know my heart... bruises and all.
The first one is titled, "Misunderstood" and is the one I made to reflect my emotions about the dream and the true life events that led up to it.
This second one is what I drew after the morning had passed... It shows my current feelings and newly found strength in the Lord.
I'm finding peace today, knowing that I am protected and held by the hands of God. He can carry me through any struggle, any sadness, any tragedy. "Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall." - Psalm 55:22. I am so thankful for the grace of God and am happy to be filled with hope and joy today. I hope these words bring you comfort as well in your daily walk through life.