Saturday, January 19


Well, the day has finally come and it's time for me to put my big girl pants on and take a step away from Facebook.  As apprehensive as I feel, God is reassuring me that this is the right thing to do for now.  My hopes are that it will free up some time for soul searching, writing, playing guitar and spending time with the ones I love. 

Callie is now 8 months old.  It's so incredibly difficult to grasp how quickly she is growing.  At 7 months she started crawling, and now is already trying to stand up and use her feet to move!  I keep telling her to slow it down because Mommy is NOT ready to have a toddler yet.  Here are a few pictures from our little photo session.  She truly is the light of our lives!  

Yesterday was my 27th birthday.  To be quite honest, I wasn't really looking forward to it in the weeks and days leading up to it.  The past two months have been pretty difficult for me emotionally.  I've become very withdrawn and haven't felt like myself at all.  On Thursday I was able to take a half day of work to go into the doctor where I was diagnosed with postpartum depression.  I've struggled with depression in the past but this is so different from what I've experienced before.  The weight of motherhood, being a wife, daughter, friend, employee.... It's all just become so heavy on my shoulders which makes the symptoms that much worse.  I'm thankful for doctors, for my friends, for my family.  I'm thankful that I am able to talk about it.  My family history is less than stellar in this department and the ability to express my feelings is something that is only possible because of my Savior.  I know that He is the ultimate healer and if it is in His will, this will only be temporary. 

I walked into my house yesterday after work with my hands full of groceries thinking about the to-do list that was in front of me before company arrived.  My eyes went directly to the fireplace where I saw two gifts sitting, I smiled to myself thinking, not only did my incredible husband take the time this morning to clean the house, but he also set out gifts for me! As I walked toward the kitchen my attention was drawn to the beautiful decorations all over the house.  A laugh actually escaped from my mouth as feelings of relief and love rushed through my body.  Then, from out of nowhere I see something big moving behind me!  I turn my head and see Josh Rollins, one of my dear friend's husbands, standing there with a camera in his hand.  Before I could say anything, my friends popped out of the kitchen yelling, "SURPRISE!" They had all come in early to decorate the house for my birthday and spend a little extra time with me and Callie.  I was completely taken off guard and so overwhelmed with happiness. 

The night progressed and more friends and family arrived for food and incredible conversation.  At one point during the evening I stepped back and was completely in awe of how blessed I am.  Seeing so many people you love and admire in one room is an overwhelming feeling that is just not describable. We all hung out well into the night, and I woke this morning with a smile on my face and peace in my heart.  Thank you to each and every one of you who wished me a happy birthday, your love and friendships mean the world to me and I am so very thankful! 

Here's to a wonderful new chapter in my life... I look forward to seeing what is in store. 

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